


When the Soldiers Come Home

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: America is not the Hero (Hetalia), Angst, Based on Roleplay, Blind!North Italy, Countries Using Human Names, Flashbacks, Graphic Description, Human & Country Names Used, Implied Relationships, Injured Countries, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, POV America (Hetalia), Post-World War II, War, War Injuries, angsty angst, basically this is a country hospital, implied america/england, implied italy/germany, shit happens during war, there are issues from the war that hurt countries n shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a fanfiction based on a roleplay I did a while ago. The roleplay was never finished, so I thought I'd make a fanfic out of it because it has a lot of potential.<br/>--<br/>The war has ended, but not everyone is safe. Alfred's still haunted from the pain of the war, nightmares taunt him every night. When he wakes up in a hospital next to Feliciano, he realizes we might not be the only one in pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Background (Not Part of Story Line--Roleplay)

**Author's Note:**

> The first "chapter" is the roleplay my fanfic is based on. This gives you a little taste of what's to come. The chapters after this will be the fanfic.

**_This is a conversation between_ ** **_Blind!Feliciano Vargas_ ** **_and yourself,_ ** **_Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes)_ ** **_._ **

**Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  yes

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred twisted uneasily in his sleep. He had been in too many wars, seen too much pain, and done too many horrible things to sleep easily. Everywhere he looked he saw the eyes of the fallen. He saw Arthur’s eyes as they cried for him during the revolution. He saw Kiku’s eyes when they met for the first time after the atomic bomb drop. He saw the eyes of Feliciano holding onto Ludwig, begging not to be taken away from him. He saw his people crying on that dark day in September and on that rainy day in May. He saw the eyes of the children an foreign grounds as his troops took over….  
The American cried out in pain.

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  ((omg that's so sad! Amazing starter, I love it!))

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  ((lmao thanks i'm in an angst kick right now))

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  ((I love angst! How should Feli be in this? I can make him not blind since its a nation AU))

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  ((tbh however you want to make feli is fine by me))

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  ((Hmm... I can make him blind and say it's effects from the war? Just for this AU, I think it'll be cool. And OOOO what if there was like a nation hospital, and only some nations are there because they are still dealing with the effects of the war? And then Feli hears him because his bed is next to Alfies!?))

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  ((holy shit i like the way you think! where have you been all my life? lets do it!))

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  ((XD okay, I'll respond ^.^))

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  Feliciano was currently in a semi peaceful sleep. If you'd call semi peaceful only having two nightmares instead of three. If Alfred didn't cry out in pain, he probably would have woken up just a few minutes later from a nightmare. He whimpered and sat up. Every single time he woke up, he'd think he'd be able to see again, but he couldn't, and it just made him more and more sad. "A-Alfred?..." He asked, knowing it was him. Their beds were right next to each other because they both had similar mental conditions. "Are you okay?..." He whispered, laying back down to focus on sounds. He couldn't get up and walk over without help. He had no idea where he was going without guidance.

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred screamed again, hearing Feliciano's voice in his dream instead of reality. He bolted awake, bed coated in sweat. He shook violently as he tried to take in his surroundings. He was in a bed, in a hospital. He was out of the battle field and the war was done. He was safe. "I am safe," he whispered to himself, trying desperately to convince his mental state that truth. He then remembered why he woke up. He didn't want to turn and see the damage he had caused to the other nation, but turned anyway and saw Feliciano, face coated in bandages, turned the opposite way from his bed. "I...I'm alright Feliciano..."

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  Feliciano was feeling terrible from the lack of sleep he's been getting for months on end. He refused pills or drinks. It wasn't really his fault, he just wasn't trusting medicine right now from experiences in the war. Hearing Alfred scream and panic was making him freak out. He knew how scary dreams could get, but he heard himself calm down and wished he could calm himself down that easily when he woke up from a scary dream. "That's good." He said, making himself smile. He felt better when he was smiling, even if he was faking it. "I'm sorry about your scary dream."

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred could almost laugh. Scary dream...oh, Feliciano you don't know the half of it, he thought. But he knew the other nation was trying to put up a happy front, something the American knew well. The least he could do was engage in a conversation. Give the fellow suffering nation something out of his mouth other then his constant screaming. "T-thank you, Feli." He stuttered. "Are you...are you holding up okay?"

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  Feliciano looked in his direction, sure of where he was now. Everytime he woke up, he'd be disoriented, so he would have to get his bearings again. "You're welcome." He smiled brighter when they started having a conversation. "Yeah. I'm doing okay." He grabbed the blankets and pulled them up to his shoulders. "The doctor says I'm doing well. She said she's proud of me. She sounds very pretty. Is she pretty, Alfie? I should flirt with her if she is, don't you think?" He giggled a little.

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred smiled at the childlike innocence of Feliciano. It was nice to be near someone who had somewhat of a good view on life. "Yes, she's very pretty. You should definitely go for it, Feli." He teared up a little, thinking about how he messed up Feliciano's life. He didn't just take Ludwig away, he scarred Kiku so badly that the nation had to be separated from the others. And Feli's brother....Alfred shuddered. He had ripped Feliciano from his friends and he didn't know how to live with that regret. "I'm proud of you too, Feli," He said softly, "You're making very good progress."

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  He giggled, "Okay, I'll do it. But only if you're my wing man." Even though he was in a horrible situation, most of his happiness came from his knowing that the war is over. He knew there'd be something better in the future now, and that's what he was thinking of. He missed his friends though. He didn't know where they were, or when they'd get out of here, if they already did. Feliciano wasn't allowed visitors because the last time he did, he had a really bad panic attack after some flashbacks from the war, so they were waiting until he was more stable. They let Alfred and Feliciano talk to each other though because the conversation was helping them both. When he heard Alfred's praise, his heart felt like it was glowing. The comment really touched him. "Really?... Thank you Alfred." He smiled kindly. "You too. I know you're improving because yesterday night you didn't wake up screaming." He smiled brightly and reached his hand out to him. "Do we reach? Or are we far away?"

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred choked up at the comment. He needed the validation after Arthur and Matthew left a week before in tears. He had thrown Matthew against the wall in rage, somehow thinking it was himself. He demanded answers and when Arthur tried to pry him off, the American swung around broke the Brit's ribs. Feliciano's cheerful comment, well that could possibly get him through the next month he had without visitors. He reached his arm out to the Italian and took Feli's hand. "We're a bit far away, but not enough to stop us from reaching." He squeezed Feli's hand. "Your nurse has blue eyes. They gleam when you smile at her."

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  Feliciano let out a little sigh when he felt Alfred's hand in his own. It's been so long since he's had proper human contact, and this felt so good. He squeezed Alfred's hand, turning it to intertwine their fingers. That felt even better! "Nothing can stop us." He said, still smiling. Feliciano pictured her in his head with those blue eyes. But instead Ludwig just kept appearing in his head. He whimpered a bit. "I should keep smiling for her then..." It was weird that he couldn't cry when he wanted to. That was the worst. "You have blue eyes too. And so does Ludwig." He smiled, looking more sad now.

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred cursed the doctors at giving Feliciano a nurse with blue eyes. Of course, of course he thought of Ludwig. He rubbed the top of Feliciano's hand with his thumb. "Yes...and Matthew. Mattie has blue eyes." Alfred sighed and tried to picture where Mattie was now. Probably with Francis or Arthur, or in Washington trying to convince Al's boss to let him visit his brother. "Feliciano...I'm so sorry." Alfred put his empty arm over his face as tears began to fall. What was the point in apologizing? He couldn't take it back. But god, he wanted so badly to make things right again and put Feli back into the company of those he loved.

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  "Yeah... Sometimes I wish I had blue eyes... But I don't think I'd be the same without my colour eyes..." He laid back, trying to relax his broken body. "Matthew has nice eyes too." Feliciano was surprised to hear the apology so suddenly. He squeezed his hand tighter, wanting to cry too, but he just couldn't, and he didn't like the feeling at all. "Well... I forgive you Alfred. There's no reason not to.. It's barely your fault, we have no choice but to listen to our bosses." He whimpered. "I just... I just wish I knew where Ludwig was.. And my brother, and Kiku. I'm scared.." He whispered. "You make me really happy here, Alfred."

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred let out a sob but furiously began to wipe his eyes in an attempt to put on a strong front. A hero front. "You shouldn't...you shouldn't forgive me. Even if it isn't my fault." He took a shaky breath. "B-but thank you." His heart broke at Feli's whimpering. He wished he could tell Feliciano that his friends were safe. He didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to tell the truth either. His doctor had advised against it, but the Italian needed to hear something. "I know that Kiku is in a room on his own. He's hurt pretty badly, Feli. He refuses to speak to anyone accept his Japanese doctor." Alfred took a deep breath. "But he's still here. He's survived thousands of years he can survive this."

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  He bit his lip when he heard Alfred sob, and squeezed his hand in encouragement. He didn't mean to make the other cry. "Well I do forgive you. If I don't we can't be friends, and I'd rather be friends then enemies." When he heard what was happening to Kiku, he felt his heart hurt. His chest was hurting him badly at the thought of Kiku wounded. "Yeah, he's strong... I think we're all strong. It's hard to be nations, and we're doing it. I think that's good." He turned his head to just be straight. His neck was starting to hurt. But he couldn't help but think about Ludwig. "Just... T-tell me Ludwig's okay... Please?.. He didn't die, did he?..."

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred took a deep breath. "N-no," he began, unsure of how to approach the situation. "He's alive. He's here and still a country but..." He trailed off. Ludwig was a mess. Beyond a mess. The Allies were taking bits and pieces of his country to monitor and....."He's missing an arm, Feli. Arthur, Francis, Ivan, and I....we were ordered to occupy Germany. He's split into four parts. He's not taking it well...." Alfred squeezed Feli's hand, knowing if he could cry he'd be sobbing. "I don't know how long it will be until he's better."

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  Feliciano felt relieved, but that feeling only lasted a moment. When he heard that he was missing an arm, thoughts swarmed in his head. Will he ever get it back?... How was Ludwig going to give him piggy back rides without an arm? Or cuddle him, or pick him up and spin him around. His breathing became irregular, and his chest was hurting him again. "Don't take all of him. P-please. Please I'm begging you." He was whimpering and making sounds of sobbing, but his eyes were dry. "I don't want to say good bye, I don't like it. Please don't take all of him. I'll do anything... I'll give anything for him to be alive. Please!"

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  Alfred swung his legs around and before he knew it he had Feliciano in his arms, trying to hug the fear out of the broken nation. "He's alive, he's going to stay alive. I promise you." Alfred blinked back tears as he let Feliciano give into his sadness. "You won't have to say goodbye. As long as I'm a country you won't ever have to say goodbye to Ludwig." It was an impossible promise, but Alfred meant it. Feliciano had seen so much pain and said far too many goodbyes. He'd be damned if he let another goodbye escape his lips.

 **Blind!Feliciano Vargas:**  He hugged the other tightly, gasping when his arms were suddenly around him. "Alfred!" He held on to him for dear life, glad for the other's strong arms enveloping him. "Thank you." He whispered, using everything he had to keep Holy Rome and his nonno out of his hand. It would stress him out, and he didn't need it right now. "I don't want to say goodbye to anyone. That's not right." He hid his face in the crook of his neck. "I wish this war never happened." Sometimes giving into the sadness was the best thing. It let him release his emotions.

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  "Me too, Feli." Alfred sighed, smoothing Feliciano's hair. "We'll get through it. And we'll see our friends...our family again." Alfred rocked the small Italian back and forth slowly. Alfred wished he knew Italian. He had so many different cultures in his country, but he was too busy recently to learn any other language. If he knew Italian, maybe Feli would feel more at home. "We'll see our brothers again. We'll see the ones we love again. It will take time, but we'll heal."

 **Alfred F. Jones (having a nightmare starter: say yes):**  ((im tired af so imma go but this was fun))


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Start of the fic from here on.

Alfred twisted uneasily in his sleep. He had been in too many wars, seen too much pain, and done too many horrible things to sleep easily. Everywhere he looked he saw the eyes of the fallen. He saw Arthur’s eyes as they cried for him during the revolution. The rain falling around them as Alfred stood pointing a gun at his former caretaker. Arthur’s green eyes were ablaze with a hatred Alfred never knew existed. Then the facade melted away and the Brit fell to the ground and Arthur asked him: “Why?”

Alfred’s dream shifted and he saw Kiku’s sullen eyes when they met for the first time after the atomic bomb drop. The smaller man was a disheveled mess, not at all the polite and modest person Alfred knew him to be. When Kiku saw him during their surrender the nation threw himself at Alfred in a rage. As the American fell to the ground, he could once again feel the sickening pain of his people dying in Pearl Harbor and the effect it had not just on his ego, but the ego of the entire country. With each punch Kiku landed on him, Alfred felt the bomb. Again and again and again. He screamed and through the man off himself and into the flames of that _retched_ weapon he dropped on Hiroshima.

Suddenly Alfred was back with Arthur, Francis, Ivan, and Yao. They were all trying to get Feliciano off of Ludwig as he begged not to be taken from him. Alfred’s heart ached at the memory his dream was conjuring, but it felt nothing back then. Alfred knew little Italian, but hissed, “Cazzo zitto!” Feliciano turned his attention to the American, fallen silent at the profanity spoken harshly in his own language. His brown eyes were red and irritated from his crying, but something else was wrong about them. They looked a bit cloudy.

Arthur put a hand on Alfred’s shoulder as if to tell him to stop, but Alfred shrugged him off. He pried Ludwig out of Feliciano’s grasp and yelled to Ivan for help. Francis, despite having a broken arm, held onto the Italian nation to stop him from reaching back out. Alfred could still feel the German’s weight in his arms and see Ivan’s amused smirk and hear Feliciano sobbing as if he had lost everything.

The scene faded and Alfred sat in darkness surrounded by tens of thousands of copies of eyes. Kiku’s. Arthur’s. Feliciano’s. Even Ludwig’s empty stare.

“No, please!” Alfred begged, his voice destressed and on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry I never meant…I never meant for any of this!”

The eyes got closer and Alfred let out a horrified shriek, not just in the dream but in waking life as well.


End file.
